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Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.

This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.

I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.

I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.

As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.

excerpt from “FYI, I Cannot “Demand” Respect From Men so Stop Telling Me That!" @ One Black Girl. Many Words. (via androphilia)

(Source: daniellemertina)

stereoculturesociety:

CultureHISTORY: The Ferguson Protests - #NMOS14

In light of Mike Brown’s murder, and the police occupation of Ferguson, something extraordinary is happening. With the help of #BlackTwitter, social media, the spotlight of national attention and the impassioned citizens of Ferguson, a protest movement is taking shape and it is important to bear witness.

First there was the #IfTheyGunnedMeDown thread which was reported in the NY Times & LA Times, the #DontShoot thread of photos (some above), and tomorrow a National Moment of Silence across the country for the victims of police brutality.  

Thursday, August 14th#NMOS14 - 4:00P (PT) / 6:00P (CT) / 7:00P (ET). Check cities/location here.

The issue of police brutality against communities of color is a decades-old problem. But with new technology, everyone has access to more information and these cases are getting more attention. Plus, in the last four weeks, four unarmed black men have been killed by policemen across the country. Along with Mike Brown in St. Louis, Eric Garner in New York, John Crawford in Dayton, OH and Ezell Ford in L.A. Yes, it’s time for a movement.

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